is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Randomize
