So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
