Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I just gargled with NyQuil
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
