I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
