just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Randomize
