That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
not ubering you a puppy
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
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