I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
and she was petting her beer can
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize
