tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
