these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Randomize
