How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
