i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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