Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
