McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Randomize
