remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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