i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
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