She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
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