The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Randomize
