I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
