Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
