Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
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