I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
