I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
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