is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Randomize
