It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
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