You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Randomize
