walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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