are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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