I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
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