I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
