Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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