I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Randomize
