Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Randomize
