It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
