I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
