I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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