tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
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