Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
