at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
