But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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