Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
COCAINE IS GR8
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Randomize
