My first STD was from a foam party
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Bring me that man meat
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
