But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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