I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
