could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Enjoy the penises
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
