Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
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