PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
