So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
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