What did we do last night that was yellow?
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Randomize
