somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Randomize
