Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Kareoke will never be a sober sport
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
