What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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