it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
