Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
