I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
