You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Randomize
